Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Piece of Mind/ Peace of Mind... Mood: Pensive

Today I sit in reflection... I have so many places that I scatter my thoughts about the world in general, about politics, movies, events... nothing that just centers around how I feel. Emotions, poetry, peace. There's no way to find peace in this life without first knowing yourself, knowing your limits, and understanding the fact that the only limitations you have outside of law are limits you place upon yourself. The chains around me now are the chains I let others place. I live as a slave to fear of what others might say or think about me. I must learn that the only important judge of my character is me. Peace is knowing when to say no. I am still working on that.

I suppose I might be feeling just a bit spiteful today, and disappointed. When people in your life make you promises then completely disregard them, you tend to get a bit salty about it... especially when they display a flagrant disregard for your feelings in the meantime and do nothing to try and change it even when you point it out to them. These are the same people that demand instant gratification, not when you have made a promise, when you have made any indication toward doing something for them that they want. We all have poisonous people like this in our lives... it's learning to distance from them that is the trick.

I feel like this, the first post ever on a blog about my emotions, should have a poem, but instead you get a song. Enjoy.

DEEP
There is a light at the end
Of this tunnel this funnel of darkness
Instead of breaking I bend
Easing and ebbing with each breath

And in these tears I find myself
Not really alone, you are here with me
Trapped in a circle that eats itself
Hold this small hand, come along please

Newness, a freshness like deep snow
Dizzying, spinning around us
The cold of it touching all those I know
Brushing it off, it didn't mean much

You were perfect, you were honest, you were genuine.
You were crying right beside me, never held it in

And in these tears I find myself
Not really alone, you are here with me
Trapped in a circle that eats itself
Hold this small hand come along please

I used to sing someone else's song
Now I sing words that are my own
A drumbeat that lingered so long
Never again lost in that drone

And in these tears I find myself
Not really alone, you are here with me
Trapped in a circle that eats itself
Hold this small hand come along please

I can feel it, it keeps growing, and it shines like gold
You were listening when you held me, helped me break the mold
Of this prison, I was drowning and you saw the pain
Held me out of the deep water, never lost again

And in these tears I find myself
Not really alone, you are here with me
Trapped in a circle that eats itself
Hold this small hand come along please

Come along please